Men must "pisseth against the wall."
There are so many things that I was never taught at Sunday school or even in later years. An example is that I was never taught that
on six occasions in the King James Biblethe term "that pisseth against the wall is used to describe men.
In other versions of the Bible we find this replaced by the likes of "males." Baptist pastor Stephen L Anderson sees this watering down of the King James Bible as significant. He believes that we have a generation of pastors, preachers and even the US President (too much information!) who "pee sitting down." This he sees as a sign that men today are not being real men.
Anyhow, here it is;
Tomorrow, we have a District Manse Inspection. This should be the ideal time for me to ask for an appropriate wall to be put within the manse. After all what else can I do? I can do no other!
HAT TIP: Richard Hall
On a serious note let this be a warning of how we can take Scripture out of context and do a violence to it!
A short period of searching Pastor Anderson suggests that he represents a very extreme distortion of Christianity - could be the next lunacy on a par with Westboro Baptist Church and the Phelps clan!
Labels: Theology
posted by Paul Martin at 8:34 PM
14 Comments:
This has worried me. Although when I just want to pisseth I will, at least metaphorically, do it against the wall, I usually find that when I sitteth down to do the other thing, I pisseth as well. Does this mean I'm only half a real man? Should I try to pisseth standing up before I sitteth down?
Paul, you're a man of the world and obviously a real man. Preacheth the truth to your humble servant on this matter!
10:51 AM
Finally, an exposition of scripture that appeals! There are a couple of occasions in the OT when we are treated to the description of gentlemen squatting or sitting to do the neccessary. Both times they "come a cropper". Saul has part of his cloak cut off as he squats in a cave, and Ehud is assassinated by having a dagger plunged into his fat belly, the fat covering it up to the hilt so that his entourage do not realise anything is amiss....
The moral? They that standeth up to piss will not lose their clothing or their lives. Amen.
12:37 PM
For information purposes, the references to "pisseth against the wall come from 1 Samuel 25 (2 instances), 1 Kings 14, 16, and 21, and 2 Kings 9.
The Hebrew word is mašTîn, to pass water or urinate. Translators of the the other versions seem to feel that this is most easily understood as "men," "male," etc. I think I agree.
On a side note, Jehovah is often wrongly called the name of God when really that word is an anglicized form of the Hebrew word YHWH. The Hebrew people themselves in the very text that we first hear YWHW refer to God as elohim (which means the plurality of Gods).
How silly....
You probably know all this, but I like to share!
1:56 PM
I know a lot of women who can piss standing up. They're dead hard!
2:48 PM
Y'all can piss against the wall if you want---as long as *you* clean the damned bathroom...to *my* specifications, that is. Ugh.
I am constantly amazed by the mess you boys make. Do you wave that thing around like a firehose?
2:51 PM
Doxy
It's alright for you gals who just sit there and let gravity take over. The male equipment is not very accurate. You get different directions even when you are pointing forward and controlling the speed and flow is not an exact science. But God understands the problems men face in this department, he accepts that there was a design fault, and that is why he invented wimmin to clean up after us.
I do love the cut and thrust of a good theological argument. TC has excelled himself on this one.
3:04 PM
that is why he invented wimmin to clean up after us.
Yeah, you talk big, MP---I'd give a lot to hear Mrs. MP's response to that statement. I suspect it would be the sound of a clue-by-four whacking you upside the head...
3:27 PM
Just in defence of Germans, I have rented a great deal of excellent beer during many trips to Germany over the last 22 years and have never once; been required to sit, seen a public convenience without a urinal or seen notices requiring me to sit. The chap in the video was obviously living in some kind of closed community which may explain his obscure rant.
3:40 PM
Ah, Doxy. But I am a real man who takes care of his woman. I pay for a cleaner to come in and clean up my mess. Full union rates (none of your exploiting Mexican shenanigans) out of my very low wages. My wife works, why should she have to do housework when she comes home? If you choose badly it's your own fault. May I suggest you find an Englishman next time.
4:03 PM
Oh, my, what fun to come here and see the boys play! I'm surprised y'all let Doxy in to play, and now here I am. If y'all were real boys, you wouldn't let us into the game.
MadPriest, how often does your cleaner come? Once a week? That man pee can work up to quite a stench within a week, you know.
Is this where we're headed in future sermons?
TheMe, so you only rent the beer! Well, I won't ask the question about recycling.
6:17 PM
I covered for the parish sexton while his baby was being born. This explains much about the men's room.
7:01 PM
Some great theological reflection here!
It seems to me that the phrase is used on those six occasions at times when God's judgement is exercised against those who "pisseth against the wall." Therefore, I am inclined to the view that God may be wanting us to sit rather than stand which makes it rather convenient that the Manse Inspection people didn't seem to keen on a urinal being brought in. Still, the death of Ehud is a problem - even though one of my uncles survived a German attack in World War 2 because he was like Ehud sat upon the toilet.
As for Wormowood Doxy, i am worried by he question;
"Do you wave that thing like a hose?"
My wife says certainly not in may case (not big enough!) but MP can I am sure speak for himself on that one.
10:44 PM
The pastor? Steven Anderson is a KJV only preacher. Can't we blame that on you English, after all King James was your king and being American, I guess my king at the time? But I still blame the English.
8:40 PM
See here for what Mark Twain said about all of this:
http://lavatoryreader.typepad.com/the-lavatory-reader/2009/10/public-urination-in-the-bible-pissing-against-the-wall.html
2:25 PM
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